The Rogue Jew’s Guide To Christmas & Hanukkah Gifts For Your Muslim Friends

Are you having trouble trying to figure out what to buy your favorite Jihadist for Christmas this year? Look no further, The Rogue Jew is here to help you out so that you don’t LOSE YOUR HEAD this holiday season, we wouldn’t want to disappoint that favorite IslamoNazi in your life.

Two Ply Koran

Is there a Muslim that you know that likes to go camping? Perhaps he or she enjoys those nice long weekend getaway at their favorite cave in the mountain regions of Afghanistan? For that special Islamofacist/Outdoor enthusiast, the Koran now comes in two ply.

No need to squeeze the Charmin anymore, the verses of Muhammad come to life while you squat or sit thinking about just where to place that next roadside bomb. When your done with that verse, just wipe and toss. Our Koranic Toidy Paper is eco friendly and biodegradable and is Halal. Muhammad AND Al Gore would approve of this stuff.

Koranic Toilet Paper can also be used to muffle the sounds of a moaning prisoner, wrap fish, and for making paper mache figurines of Muhammad or Jesus.

Next gift idea is for that Jihadi who has been living large in America or Europe and has gained a few inches around the middle and his camel’s hump is shrinking from the extra weight from living high on the hog while vacationing at CLUB GITMO…
You’ve seen Sweating to the Oldies, well Rogue Jew Productions brings to you, Shvitzing to Jihad! Watch as your favorite Suicide Bomber works out to songs like; “Jihad Me @ Hello”, “Ahab The Arab”, “Killing Me Softly With Jihad”, “Thank Allah, I’m A Jihad Boy” and for that extra special workout, Toby Keith singing “The Angry American”. Watch that Jihadi in your life shed the pounds and slim down for a better fitting Suicide Bomb Vest.

Bobblehead Muhammad

How bout your favorite taxi driver that gets you to work on time while driving his tuchas off to help finance the next 9/11. Move over Jesus, and make room for Dashboard Muhammad! The Cartoon Like Prophet comes to life as his head bobbles from side to side as you sail away to your next destination in the city. Order one today and proudly display on your dashboard or desk. It’s sure to stimulate conversation and even a riot or two from the followers of the Religion of Perpetual Outrage. IT’S FATWASTIC!

Last but not least, we have to remember the Wahabbi Sunni extremist who is responsible for all of the BEHEADINGS and Genital Mutilations. For that special person we have the RONCO SHOWTIME KNIFE SET.


Cleavers and Boners for those tough neck and hand cuts and the Garnishing Knife for mutilating the genitals of Mothers, Wives, Daughters, and Sisters. AND THE KNIVES ARE GUARANTEED TO STAY SHARP OR THEY WILL REPLACE IT ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE! If your the first 100 callers, they might include a storage block, a sharpener, and a cutting board free if you promise to tell your fellow Jihadist and Imams.

Well There we go, The Rogue Jew’s Gift Guide 2006 for Islamofacist, Suicide Bombers, Head Chopper, and Jihadist that you know and love. Some Assembly Required, Batteries not Included, Not Intended for Minors and Nursing Mothers, May Cause bloating, cramping, and explosive diarrhea; Do not operate heavy machinery; and above all else..Shake Well & Stir Often. Lifetime Warranty excludes parts and labor. Shipping extra.

Merry Hanukkah and Happy Christmas to all and to all a good nite!

5 responses to “The Rogue Jew’s Guide To Christmas & Hanukkah Gifts For Your Muslim Friends

  1. …Me and my wife nestled all snug in our bed
    While visions of bobbleheads dance in our heads…

    I believe the spirit of Christmas is alive and well after all.

  2. That was comical… but I’m so disturbed at the thought of anyone mutilating someone’s genitals…

    Didn’t think of that. Okay Jihadists, just lop heads and stop mutilating genitals, okay?

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