So what do you know, I open my email this morning and low and behold I find that the Cartoon like Prophet himself, Muhammad fowarded an email to me that he sent to all of his followers including it appears, Osama bin Laden, Nancy Pelosi, John Murtha, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Satan. And you know what? He’s PO’d by the sounds of it!
The Prophet has a website to, and for any of you FREEPERS who are crawling around with your Dictionaries in hand, the Prophet is not that good of a speller so don’t be sending ME your messages on grammar or spelling.
Jihadis & Muslims,
So what’s going on guys? I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you’re all strapping on bombs and blowing up anything that moves! Didn’t you listen to a word i said? Islam’s supposed to be a peaceful way of life…it’s no wonder the Civilised World thinks we’re all savages. You’re even blowing up other Muslims!…what next, suicide bombers on school buses?…oh right, you’re already there…looks like i got a lot of work to do to put things right! Now pay attention all you wannabe suicide bombers…THERE AREN’T ANY VIRGINS WAITING (it’s true), you just get reincarnated as something you hated in the last world…like a Jew or a pig! Kind of ironic don’t you think (and they say me and the other guys up here don’t have a sense of humour!)? – SO STOP DOING IT, otherwise the next time your Mum has a bacon sandwich she could be munching on her beloved martyred son!
On reflection don’t you think you all went a little overboard on the Danish cartoon thing? OK, so some of them weren’t very funny but that’s no reason to start going all Westernphobic – click on the cartoon link, you’ll see they’re nowhere near as bad as the stuff in Arab newspapers. You’re all really gonna have to have a beer and chill out! Try taking a holiday, go somewhere different like Denmark or Israel, you’ll find the people are a lot nicer than you’ve been led to believe! The Jews really don’t have horns and the Danes just want to take advantage of this thing called ‘Freedom of Speech’. It’s something they have in the Civilised World, sort of the opposite to everything Muslims believe in today but i’m sure we’ll get there in the end…evolution takes time!
And what’s with the doughnut wearing the suicide bomber outfit at the London rally? You know, Omar ‘drug dealer’ Khayam (I’ll be having words with you ‘later’ Omar baby). Someone should tell him that having a small willy is no excuse for being such a silly boy.
Now listen carefully guys, this is very important…if you want the Civilised World to treat you like adults then you really gotta start acting like adults. Electing terrorists to lead Palestine really wasn’t sensible…and voting in a total fruit-cake on the basis that he’ll build a nuclear bomb and wipe Israel off the face of the Earth was never going to make Iran seem like a progressive Muslim nation.
Now, Palestine…’Palestine this, Palestine that, blah, blah, blah’ … CHANGE THE RECORD. Ranting on about Palestinians being persecuted and Muslims standing together won’t get you anywhere, especially when Palestine gets more money from Israel and the West than they do from all the Muslim countries put together! It’s a bit embarassing don’t you think?
Unfortunately for Muslims, actions speak louder than words! So here’s what you’re going to have to do…Stop blowing up innocent men, women and children, start treating women with respect, stop persecuting homosexuals, start tolerating other religions, stop expecting civilised societies to adopt draconian Islamic laws, Stop issuing’ fatwahs’ every time someone blows their nose, stop taking from societies and start giving something back!
Being part of a civilised society isn’t always easy, but i know that with a bit of hard work Islam will eventually get there.
Love and kisses,
Mo (Peace Be Upon Me)