Captain Obvious To The Rescue: Rumors That Hillary Clinton Is A Lesbian

At the speed of Stupid, Captain Obvious is here to save the day. 

I have been sitting on this one for a few weeks.  Rumors floating around the internet about Hillary are a dime a dozen, but when this showed up on the Drudge Report yesterday, I figured, What the F*ck! 

Not that this is even remotely suprising to me in the least, but it would seem the blogsphere is buzzing a bit about a new Clinton Sex Scandal brewing. Believe it or not, it’s not the adulterous former President Bill Clinton, this time it’s 2008 Presidential Candidate, Senator Hillary Clinton being fingered in a sex scandal…Literally!!!

The Drudge Report and World Net Daily are both humming about this and Clintons people are furious over what they refer to as “Tabloid Trash”.

Apparently, the Times Online is sitting on a story that Frau Hillary Clinton is a Lesbian.

From LukeFord.Net

Do you sense there is some large mass of dark matter, an unseen Scandal Star, the gravitational pull of which is warping the coverage of what seems, on the surface, a pretty dull presidential race? I do. So does Ron Rosenbaum. I thought the Dark Star was the Edwards affair allegation. But Rosenbaum says “everyone in the elite Mainstream media” knows about another juicy scandal that the LAT is supposedly sitting on. I guess this is proof that I’m not in the elite, because I don’t know what he’s talking about. … My vestigial Limbaugh gland tells me it must involve a Democrat, or else the Times would have found a reason to print it. … P.S.: If it’s just Richardson, that will be very disappointing.

Suddenly politics got more interesting.  Rumors floating around that the Lady of Hillary’s dreams is a hot Muslim chick named Huma Abedin who is Frau Hillary’s personal assistant.  I guess one must eat at the Y to promote past Intern.

Abedin was born in Kalamazoo Michigan to Muslim parents

This is yet unconfirmed, but tongues are a waggin on this one! (Pun Intended)

If you examine the candidates connected by the gossip columnists to current sex scandals, Hillary leads the way with her Huma connection.

Within a couple of hours of reading Mickey Kaus’s report above, I blitzed more than 30 sources (most of them journalists) for what they know about this matter. None of them could identify the purported LA Times story Rosenbaum blogs about.

My dialogue with my sources left me with no doubt Tuesday night that Hillary’s hit on women and that Huma Abedin is Hillary’s most likely source of romantic and sexual love.

Here’s a picture of Hillary’s personal assistant Huma Abedin. Huma Abedin. Huma Abedin. Huma Abedin.

Even if the Ron Rosenbaum report is complete nonsense (as Matt Welch asserts below), the mainstream media will come under increasing pressure (as Hillary waltzes to the Democratic nomination and assumes front runner status in the general election) to probe Hillary’s love life (or lack of it) and to examine the numerous assertions (by such persons as Dick Morris etc) that she bats for the other team.

If you put a gun to my head and made me choose which team I believed Hillary batted for, I’d say she played with either girls alone or with both teams.

More on this from BigHeadDC:

We’re still a bit incredulous on this one, but a top level U.S. Department of Justice official is telling Big Head DC that Michael Musto’s rumor about Hillary Clinton fooling around with one of her top female aides Huma Abedin is based in reality!

“I am close enough to Hillary and Huma to tell you that this ‘rumor’ is true,” the official says. “It is well known inside her campaign that Hillary and Huma are an item.

“If you call Hillary’s residence in DC first thing in the morning, Huma answers the phone,” the official continues. “Same thing late at night and on the road. It’s a closely guarded secret that Hillary’s inner circle guards at all costs.”

Perhaps Hillary HAS eaten more pussy then Bill?  Close, but no cigar!

2 responses to “Captain Obvious To The Rescue: Rumors That Hillary Clinton Is A Lesbian

  1. Pingback: gbetous » Captain Obvious To The Rescue: Rumors That Hillary Clinton Is A Lesbian

  2. Pingback: likewhoa » Captain Obvious To The Rescue: Rumors That Hillary Clinton Is A Lesbian

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