Joking Around About Obama

Have you noticed the lack of jokes about the Obamessiah?  It surely cannot be for the lack of material in which to work with, lord knows that between the 57 states in America and the 10,000 dead people in Kansas, the guy has proven himself to be a walking gaffe machine.

I found some jokes at a website called “A true Obamanation”

Joke 1
Why did Barack Obama cross the road?
Because there was not a body of water nearby for him to walk over.

Joke 2
Did you hear that Obama is currently in the Gulf?
Yep, Mexico has no idea what to do with him.

Joke 3
Did you hear Obama wants to supply the Marines with 1,000 new septic tanks?
When they learn how to drive them, he wants to use them to invade Pakistan.

Joke 4
How many Obama fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Twelve – 1 to blame it on Bush, 4 to form a committee, 6 to find and pack the bong, and 1 to call an electrician.

Joke 5
Have you heard that joke about Obama?
Well odds are he has, because his ears are freaking huge.

And here are some others I found searching around Al Gore’s Invention below the fold

“After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born.” –Jon Stewart, on Barack Obama’s Middle East trip

“Both McCain and Senator Barack Obama are trying to woo voters who are outside their natural demographic. In this election, for Senator Obama, that means trying to reach working class, non-Muslim white women who love America.” –Jon Stewart

“It was quite a weekend, politically. Yesterday, an estimated 75,000 people attended a Barack Obama rally on the banks of the the Willamette River. … And if you believe the media, listen to this. After the rally, Barack Obama fed them all with just five loaves of bread and two fish. Amazing!” –Jay Leno

A Christian, a Jew and Barack Obama are in a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. Barack Obama says, “This joke isn’t going to work because there’s no Muslim in this boat.”

Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?
A. He thinks that things go better with coke.

Q. Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.

Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
 
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.

Bill Clinton said, “I didn’t inhale.”
Barack Obama says, “I didn’t inject.”

Richard Nixon said “I am not a crook!”
Barack Obama says “I am not on crack!”

Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here!”
Barack Obama says, “Leave the bucks here!”
 
Q. What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A. Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.

Q: How many Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it has to be a change the light bulb can believe in.

Q: How many Obama supporters does it take to read The New Yorker?
A: Dude, that’s not funny.

 

Proof that Barack is the Obamessiah

Obama preached to the multitude by the side of the lake.

Obama created new states from out of the void.

Obama turned whine into Kool-Aid® for his followers.

Obama came to us carried upon a donkey.

Obama triumphed over the beast, the enemy of all men.

Obama was stoned and yet he has risen.

Obama’s flock has millions of sheep.

Obama will reign over us from a house with many rooms.

You must have no other candidates before Obama.

Obama will raise voters from the dead. Count on it.

*********************

 Vote for Barack Obama

Q. Why will Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.

Q. Why will Senator Hillary Clinton vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he stole the primary election fair and square.

Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.

Q. Why will Ho Chi Minh vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.

Q. Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he’s running out of George Bush jokes.

Q. Why will David Letterman vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he’s running out of Jay Leno’s George Bush jokes.

Q. Why will Britney Spears vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because she’s running out of other crazy things to do.

Q. Why will Senator Ted Kennedy vote for Barack Obama?
A. Brain tumor.

Q. Will Senator Larry Craig vote for Barack Obama?
A. He’ll stall first.

Q. How will Osama Bin Laden vote for Barack Obama?
A. Absentee ballot.

Q. Why will Bill Ayers vote for Barack Obama?
A. Bill thinks Obama’s the bomb.

Q. Why will sharks vote for Barack Obama?
A. Professional courtesy.

And my personal favorite one….. Obama walks into a bar.  OUCH!

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