The hometown of Nancy Pelosi is up to it’s sphincters in Flaming Port a Potties with an unknown arsonist on the loose setting fires in portable toilets throughout the city.
SAN FRANCISCO – Construction workers are anxious and investigators are puzzled. Someone has been sending San Francisco’s portable toilets up in flames in a wave of potty pyromania.
“It’s an outrage,” said Scott Johnson, a 57-year-old contractor who has been working on apartment building renovations on Russian Hill, the elegant neighborhood that is home to famously crooked Lombard Street and has had most of the fires.
Since November, at least 20 of the ubiquitous construction site toilets have been set afire in the city, creating a trail of malodorous wreckage and causing an estimated $50,000 in property damage, according to fire officials.
The Fiery Feces Depositories have police scratching more then their butts in how to catch the Flaming Potty Perp in a town full of flamers given that at this point, no eyewitnesses have come forward (or Backward).
I tried to contact Congressman Barney Frank for comment on this terrible crime spree butt he sounded like his mouth was full at the moment and was unavailable for comment.