Only In Israel….

Only in Israel! By the Israeli humorist, Efraim Kishon

1. Israel is a country surrounded on all sides by enemies, but the people’s headaches are caused by the neighbors upstairs.

2. Israel is a country where the same drivers who cuss you and flip you the bird will immediately pull over and offer you all forms of help if you look like you need it.

3. Israel is the only country in the world with bus drivers and taxi drivers who read Spinoza and Maimonides.

4. Israel is the only country in the world where reservists are bossed around and commanded by officers, male and female, younger than their own children.

5. Israel is the only country in the world where “small talk” consists of loud, angry debate over politics and religion.

6. Israel is the only country in the world where the coffee is already so good that Starbucks went bankrupt trying to break into the local market.

7. Israel is one of the few places in the world where the sun sets into the Mediterranean Sea.

8. Israel is the only country in the world whose soldiers eat three sets of salads a day, none of which contain any lettuce (which is not really a food), and where olives ARE a food and even a main course in a meal, rather than something one tosses into a martini.

9. Israel is the only country in the world where one is unlikely to dig a cellar without hitting ancient archaeological artifacts.

10. Israel is the only country in the world where the leading writers in the country take buses.. Israel is the only country in the world where the graffiti is in Hebrew.

11. Israel is the only country in the world where the “black folks” walking around all wear yarmulkes.

12. Israel is the only country in the world that has a National Book Week, during which almost everyone attends a book fair and buys books.

13. Israel is the only country in the world where the ultra-Orthodox Jews beat up the police and not the other way around.

14. Israel is the only country in the world where inviting someone “out for a drink” means drinking cola, coffee or tea.

15. Israel is the only country in the world where bank robbers kiss the mezuzah as they leave with their loot.

16. Israel is one of the few countries in the world that truly likes and admires the United States.

17. Israel is the only country in the world that introduces applications of high-tech gadgets and devices, such as printers in banks that print out your statement on demand, years ahead of the United States and decades ahead of Europe.

18. Israel is the only country in the world where everyone on a flight gets to know one another before the plane lands. In many cases, they also get to know the pilot and all about his health or marital problems.

19. Israel is the only country in the world where no one has a foreign accent because everyone has a foreign accent.

20. Israel is the only country in the world where people cuss using dirty words in Russian or Arabic because Hebrew has never developed them.

21. Israel is the only country in the world where patients visiting physicians end up giving the doctor advice.

22. Israel is the only country in the world where everyone strikes up conversations while waiting in lines.

23. Israel is the only country in the world where people call an attach case a “James Bond” and the “@” sign is called a “strudel”.

24. Israel is the only country in the world where there is the most mysterious and mystical calm ambience in the streets on Yom Kippur, which cannot be explained unless you have experienced it.

25. Sunsets in Jerusalem are gorgeous every evening. 26. Israel is the only country in the world where people read English, write Hebrew, and joke in Yiddish.

A Toast To The Iranian Goat Fucker Ahamadinejad On The Anniversary Of The Islamic Revolution

Recently, the Iranian Midget Ahamadinejad has been ramping up again on his threats against the United States and Israel.

From The Washington Times:

The Iranian government on Monday stepped up military threats in advance of an anniversary celebration as major powers continued talks on a new round of sanctions.

Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, said in Tehran that his country would stun the Western world on Thursday, the 31st anniversary of Iran’s Islamic revolution. Iran’s defense minister announced on Monday that its forces had conducted successful tests on new armed unmanned aircraft and advanced air defenses.

“The Iranian nation, with its unity and God’s grace, will punch the arrogance [Western powers] on the 22nd of Bahman [Feb. 11] in a way that will leave them stunned,” Ayatollah Khamenei was quoted as saying by Agence France-Presse.

Well, I can’t just let that rest so I pulled up an old post when I combined a couple of poems I had found online and doctored up the words a bit just to fit that Goat Fucking peice of shit from Iran and would like to offer it to the Islamic Regime of Iran on the day they celebrate Jimmy Carter’s surrender to them and their Islamic Revolution.

Here’s what I think of your threats you little prick….

Here’s to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that towelheaded scum, may the US blast his ass to kingdom come. 

He’s a bagless wonder that lives in a cave, may U.S. Marines piss Jack Daniels on that cocksucker’s grave.

Mahmoud being a chickenshit faggot lives off camel turds with a topping of maggot, Ahmadinejad doesn’t think we have the guts to come and blow off his islamic nuts!

We will eat all his hummus and drink all his tea, and screw every princess in Tehran.  

We’ll cut off his balls and split his bag, then wipe our asses on his Iranian flag. We will walk in his palace and shit on his floor, and hang Old Glory right over his door. 

 We’ll nuke his cities and shit on the streets, and piss on every Iranian Shiite we meet. We will darken his honor and shorten his joy, and show him the spirit of this American Jew boy.

From the Land of the Free and the home of hte brave, we will march into Teharan and shit on his grave.

But now America is all done with his crap, so let’s just nuke the fuckers right off of the map.

So here’s to Mahmoud that son-of-a-bitch, may his pecker fall off with the seven year itch. May they beat on his balls with a big brass hammer, till his asshole starts whistling The Star-Spangled Banner.

Poem Courtesy of John Valby with some doctoring up by yours truly!

Muslims Behaving Badly

They are simply not hiding it anymore.  And why should they?  The Mainstream Media and Government officials refuse to address the real issue of Islamic terrorism and instead condone it by ignoring it.

From Haaretz:

An airline passenger in Miami proclaimed “I want to kill all the Jews before police forced him off a Detroit-bound plane,” authorities said Thursday.

Mansor Mohammad Asad, 43, of Ohio, was arrested Wednesday night, according to a police department statement. Asad was charged with threats against a public servant, disorderly conduct and resisting an officer without violence.

FBI spokeswoman Judy Orihuela said there were no indications the disturbance was related to terrorism. The bureau was initially brought in to look into the incident but is no longer involved in the investigation. She said the FBI is treating the disruption as a matter for local authorities.

I’m not afraid of you cops, I’ve gotten in fights with cops in Ohio and broke their arms in three places, he said, according to the affidavit. I’ve broken skulls too!

The affidavit noted that alcohol didn’t appear to be a factor during the incident.

The Transportation Security Administration says three of Asad’s companions were also taken off the plane and questioned. The plane departed after a search.

Asad was transported to jail after his arrest, according to the affidavit. A telephone number for county corrections rang unanswered early Thursday morning and his records could not immediately be located online.

What is the one thing that all these lunatics have in common?  What is the one common denominator in all this?…….ISLAM

White Supremacist Terrorist Von Brunn Dies – Attacked U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum, Murdered Guard

Say hello to Hitler douchebag!

News Bite Article:

White supremacist terrorist James Von Brunn died 01/06/10 at 1 PM at a local hospital in Butner, North Carolina, AP reports from “Denise Simmons, the spokeswoman for the federal prison where von Brunn had been held.” AP reported that Von Brunn received medical care at the North Carolina prison complex, which is used for aging and sick inmates.  His death is being eulogized by white supremacists and Nazis who are praising him as a “martyr” and an example for others to “act White.”

Von Brunn had been wounded by return fire, after he shot and killed black security guard Stephen Tyrone Johns at the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Washington DC on June 10, 2009.  Von Brunn murdered Johns while Johns was holding the museum door open for Von Brunn.   AP also reported that “Officials at the prison hospital had previously said chronic medical problems had complicated a psychiatric evaluation for the suspect, who prior to the shooting had written racist and anti-Semitic screeds on the Internet.”

Wondering how long till fellow Gay Nazi Butt Fuck Incogman and his legion of zombie douchebags follow this asshat to the innermost circle of hell?

ADIOS MOTHER FUCKER!

Ghey Hitler

The Jewish holiday of Hanukkah is once again upon us and I thought just for shits and giggles I would dedicate this holiday that celebrates a Jewish Military Victory and a miracle to a particular ass wipe who failed in an epic way to destroy the Jewish people.

Ghey Hitler

Ghey Hitler 2

I only wish this cowardly fuck would have given the Jewish People the opportunity to hang him in Israel like they did Adolf Eichmann, but instead, Hitler chose the Ghey Wey out and ate a bullet instead this dying a cowards death.

 

Jimmy Carter Writes Another “Blame The Jews” Book

Epic Fail:  Jimmy Carter

While Barack Hussein Obama is busy building an even bigger legacy of failure then Jimmy Carter did in the 70’s, Islam’s most convenient dumbass has been busy writing yet another “It’s all the fault of the Jews” book.

From the Jerusalem Post:

Jimmy Carter does not apologize for the historically inaccurate and inappropriate use of the word "apartheid" to describe the security wall that has effectively prevented Hamas suicide bombers from killing and maiming Israelis in restaurants and discotheques. He does not acknowledge that it has saved countless lives.

But this should come as no surprise. As with his last book, Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid, Carter doesn’t even feign a balanced approach to the Arab-Israeli conflict in We Can Have Peace in the Holy Land. He ignores the fact that a majority of Palestinians still refuse to accept the existence of the State of Israel, while insisting that peace would be achieved if Jerusalem would simply accede to the demands of the Palestinians. And because Israel refuses to unilaterally take those steps, We Can Have Peace in the Holy Land is a 180-page harangue of the Jewish state.

Part of the problem is that Carter is a man who once enjoyed prominence as a peacemaker – he presided over the 1978 Camp David Accords between Israel and Egypt – but now lacks access to most of the power brokers in the Middle East. If one can somehow ignore the incessant snipes at Israel’s defense policies, the book reads like a tedious and depressing political diary of an elderly man who can’t quite remember where and when he misplaced his clout.

Poor, poor Jimmy.  This poster child for “Fail” seems to think that people give a shit about his opinion on anything, let alone the Middle East.  He handed Iran over to Islamic Terrorists on a silver platter and now he wants to surrender Israel to the Islamonazis.  Up until Obama, Carter was one of the worst Presidents in American history, and with his continued Saudi funded anti Semitic tirades, he further plunges himself into the abyss of Irrelevancy.

I was a kid in 6th grade when Jimmy Carter became President in 1976.  As a 12 yr old kid who’s main interest was Pheasant hunting and riding my bike, I remember oh so well surrender of our Embassy in Tehran to the Islamic Terrorists and Jimmy’s do nothing attitude that lost him the election in 1980 to perhaps the greatest President of the 20th century, Ronald Reagan.  While the mullahs were laughing their asses off at Carter’s cowardice, they were shitting their pants when Reagan took the helm and was quick to surrender the hostages back to the United States. 

I remember my Grandmother always saying the Jimmy Carter was a “good man”, but even then, I remembered him as a pussy.  My adult memories of Jimmy will always be that of him as a Religious Bigot who never accepted responsibility for his short comings and decided instead to take the convenient road of blaming the Jews.  In his old ages, he is not now, nor has he ever been an inspirational leader, he only inspires hatred not peace.