You Might Be Taliban If….

The Canadian troops in Afghanistan proved they have retained their sense of humor by creating this:
 
 “YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF…”
 
 1. You grow heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to  beer.
 
 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you  can’t afford shoes.
 
 3. You have more wives than teeth.
 
 4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon “unclean.”
 
 5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
 
 6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.
 
 7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing..
 
 8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
 
 9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
 
 10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

Fatwa To Follow....

A War Blog

From Afghanistan Shrugged: I shoot you because I care

Dear Mr Taliban (ACM, AAF, Booger Eater, EOP, Bad Guy or whatever),

Over time I’ve received emails and comments on this blog that I’m insensitive to your culture. Evidently, I should endeavor to be more tolerant and politically correct in my quest to kill you with every means at my disposal.

After much self reflection I’ve seen the error in my ways and thought I’d write you a brief note to apologize for my actions and those of my compatriots in Team Vampire. I now see how my attempts to incinerate, ventilate and generally cause mayhem could possible hurt your feelings and offend your sensibilities. For that I apologize.

First, let me complement you on the bunker complex that we saw the other day. It seemed very nice and looked like you’d chosen wisely on the size. It appears to me that you didn’t overextend yourself financially building it. That’s great! I also hope that you didn’t use a subprime lender or an adjustable rate mortgage. This should alleviate any issues in the future about defaulting; having to walk away from the bunker complex.

The downside is that you selected this outstanding piece of real estate to launch rockets at American and Afghan soldiers. Thus, I had to destroy it. Maybe we should have served you with a notice to vacate but that didn’t seem prudent at the time. Really if you want to blame someone it should be the Air Force as they’re the ones that actually dropped the bombs. But, seeing as I’m a personal accountability guy I’ll take the blame for it. Sorry.

It’s a great blog, check it out!

Why He Served

This is a feel good story despite its writer having perished yesterday in Afghanistan.  I feel compelled to post this because my son is serving in Afghanistan right now.  

From Michelle Malkin:

The following is a blog entry written on Aug. 30, 2008, by Army Specialist Stephen Fortunato, who was killed Tuesday in Afghanistan when the vehicle he was riding in was blown up by an improvised explosive device. This entry was forwarded to the Globe by his mother, Elizabeth “Betty” Crawford.

If I may …
I’d like to say something….Just to get it out there so it is clear.
To all the pampered and protected Americans who feel it is their duty to inform me that I am not fighting for their freedom, and that i am a pawn in Bush’s agenda of greed and oil acquisition: Noted, and [expletive deleted] You.

I am not a robot. i am not blind or ignorant to the state of the world or the implications of the “war on terrorism.” i know that our leaders have made mistakes in the handling of a very sensitive situation, but do not for one second think that you can make me lose faith in what we, meaning America’s sons, daughters, fathers, and mothers in uniform are doing.
I am doing my part in fighting a very real enemy of the United States, i.e. Taliban, Al Qaida, and various other radical sects of Islam that have declared war on our way of life. Unless you believe the events of 9/11 were the result of a government conspiracy, which by the way would make you a MORON, there is no reasonable argument you can make against there being a true and dangerous threat that needs to be dealt with. i don’t care if there are corporations leaching off the war effort to make money, and i don’t care if you don’t think our freedom within America’s borders is actually at stake. i just want to kill those who would harm my family and friends. it is that simple. Even if this is just a war for profit or to assert America’s power, so what? Someone has to be on top and I want it to be us. There’s nothing wrong with wishing prosperity for your side.

I am a proud American. i believe that my country allows me to live my life more or less however i want to, and believe me, i have seen what the alternative of that looks like. i also believe that our big scary government does way more than it has to to help complete [expletive deleted]-ups get back on their feet, a stark comparison to places where leaders just line their own pockets with gold while allowing the people who gave them their power and privilage to starve. I have chosen my corner. I back my country, and am proud to defend it against aggressors. Also, if you dare accuse us of being inhumane, or overly aggressive because we have rolled into someone else’s country and blown some [expletive deleted] up and shot some people, let me remind you of just how inhumane we COULD be in defending ourselves. Let me remind you that we have a warhead that drops multiple bomblets from the stratosphere which upon impact, would turn all the sand in Iraq to glass, and reduce every living thing there to dust. Do we use it? No. Instead we use the most humane weapon ever devised: the American soldier. We send our bravest (and perhaps admitably craziest) men and women into enemy territory, into harms way, to root out those whom we are after and do our best to leave innocent lives unscathed.

…One last thing…a proposal. i know it has been stated time and time again but i just think it is worthy of reiteration. If you find yourself completely disgusted with the way America is being ran, and how we handle things on the global stage, you can leave. Isn’t that amazing? No one will stop you! If you are an anarchist, there are places you can go where there is no government to tell you anything. That’s right…you are left solely to your own devices and you can handle the men who show up at your door with AKs in any way that you see fit. Just don’t try good old American debate tactics on them because you will most likely end up bound and blind-folded, to have your head chopped off on the internet so your parents can see it. However if you insist on staying here and taking advantage of privilages such as free speach and WIC, keep the counter-productive [expletive deleted] to a minimum while the grown ups figure out how to handle this god-awful mess in the middle east.

May his memory be for a blessing!